When it comes to humor, there is nothing to worry about. You will definitely offend somebody.
By The Late Mark Whitney

I am never offended by a person who is trying to be funny. Funny is too important. Funny is everything.
Censorship is not something that happens after somebody is offended. Censorship happens before you put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard or voice to memo.
Self-censorship.
Something in the oxygen tells you that you can’t even think that, much less write that or say that or record that or publish that.
You know what your problem is? Your problem is that you’re concerned your joke might offend somebody. You’re right. It will. Now get to work.
“The problem with any joke is, no matter what joke I tell, it could offend someone. Right. I've been in a club one night, and I was doing a joke about a dude driving drunk. Whole room laughing. Lady came up to me after the show was over, crying her eyes out. I came in here to have a good time. I lost my child to a drunk driver. And here you are bringing it up again. How insensitive can you be? Right. Well, damn. I didn't know you was here. probably still would have did it. Yeah. Because sometimes you have to sacrifice one for the many.”
~Steve Harvey to Jerry Seinfeld
S6E2 · Comedian In Cars Getting Coffee
”I Always Do The Banana Joke First” 2015.06.10
You didn’t start your career as a master of your craft. Same with funny people. Especially stand-ups. They take a minute to percolate.
My brother from another mother, Kurtis Matthews, founder of the San Francisco Comedy College puts it like this: “Stand-up comedy starts below the waist and stays there for a couple of years, gradually moving to the heart, then to the head.”
Eventually we are gifted with the occasional Chappelle. Nine billion people on the planet. Three thousand billionaires. One Chappelle.
You disappoint people on the way up because you suck. Then you become One Of One, and stuffy people are coming out of the woodwork.
“That’s not funny!”
You just can’t win.
Okay — I lied.
You win every time you take the stage. That’s what I told new comics in my San Diego Comedy Co-op days. I believe it to my core.
As committed readers know, I really enjoy creating satire. Darker the better. Good satirical writing is hen’s teeth rare. You’ve got The Onion, Andy Borowitz, and The Babylon Bee. They all do a great job. Onion center-left. Andy hard-left. Bee is center right.
After seven years at the Wall Street Journal and New York Times, Bari Weiss walked away and started The Free Press on Substack which now boasts 1M paying subscribers.
One of the reasons she left was stuffy people. One of the reasons she has found success independently is that she does not take herself too seriously, she does not try to be all things to all people, and the humor is always present.
Bari’s interview with Seth Dillon, CEO of the The Babylon Bee is worth a treadmill listen.
I write for the stage, page, and screen (i.e. your device). My favorite is to write for the ear. As an independent producer I can hit as hard as I want. Here’s an audio-only dramedy I produced and uploaded on January 13, 2023, 82 days after my death and resurrection from a so-called Widowmaker.
I was as dead as your third great grandmother, and rose again to tell the story. It was a short conversation. God was like, “Thought you’d be funnier,” and sent me back.
“Laughter is good for you. It increases blood flow and muscle relaxation and it reduces the arterial wall stiffness associated with cardiovascular disease.”
~Jimmy Carr, In Praise Of Drugs
Let’s Break It Down
One the one hand you have the healing power of humor. On the other, you have stuffy people, who for various reasons are incentivized to say things like, “That’s not funny!”
The people — like the cancer patients in my Laughter Is The Best Medicine — who need to laugh the most, laugh less when the official narrative is dominated by stuffy people.
You show up at the cancer ward with no cancer jokes. What are you even doing there?!
When you earn a big laugh you are undeniably effective. You are a threat to the Self-Important. So, they race to their phones to declare the thing definitely not funny.
You should be flattered.
I occasionally post an Onion-like piece to my newsletter The Real Fake News. Since dropping dead, I am a fanatic about eating only healthy food, as opposed to less deadly food such as everything.
I am especially proud of this well-crafted fake recipe.
Twice Baked Casserole Still The Best Way To Fuck-up A Potato
Potatoes are more energy-packed than any other popular vegetable. But, when prepared correctly, this summer favorite can kill unwanted relatives.
Twice Baked Potato Casserole
Peel and boil five or six innocent potatoes
Mash ‘em up
Add
1 shit-ton sour cream
1 shitload bacon
2 shit-tons butter
Bake until cancerous and remove from oven
fold in three packages crushed Oreos, preferably Double Stuf
actually spelled with one “f” because whatever Stuf is, it is certainly not the stuff we think of when we think of stuff
alternatively substitute 1 shit-ton Crisco
Gently sprinkle 1/4 teaspoon, heart-healthy sea salt
Bake until the temperature of your kitchen reaches approximately 95 degrees
For maximum impact, place the serving dish near your crazy uncle during a heated Thanksgiving debate about how we ended up with President-elect Trump. Again.
You don’t set out to offend people. You accept that Uncle Ed’s family might not want to relive his demise. On the other hand, they might be happy to have the first floor back.
Then there’s the “Fat Shaming Community.” But, how do you shame Ed? Ed has that covered, in the same way the blocks the sun.
It’s not like there’s a lot to write and speak about. In fact there are only two things:
What’s going on with you?
What’s going on in the world?
Synthesize the two (as I did in the potato piece) and you have a story, joke, podcast, screenplay, speech, sketch, essay, book, or song.
The purest form of democracy is the blank page. Let’s see what you can do.
And, I promise not to be offended.
“YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH CONFIDENCE!”
You Are Invited To Audit A HiFi Speakers Toastmasters Meeting
If you live in San Diego, I would love to meet you at one of HiFi’s weekly meetings in Carmel Valley (92130). Meetings are open to all, and free to attend, with or without advance notice. Bring a friend!
Location: 12790 El Camino Real, 1st Floor, San Diego, 92130
Plenty of free parking.
Meeting Time: Every Thursday, 12:00-1:00
If this is your lunch hour, bring a sandwich. Please time your bites carefully, so when the laughs hit you do not pass Jersey Mike through your nose.
You have been warned.
~Mark Whitney, President, HiFi Speakers